Good Dreams and Bad

I had a bad dream on Monday night. It didn't help that DJ was sleeping in a hotel in Elko, so when I rolled over to reach out and touch him and only found the Talia bug I felt lonely. (T is a good bed buddy but cannot comfort me the same way that my hubby can.
My dream was about the baby, and I couldn't find her. We were still at the hospital, DJ was supposed to be tending her, but he had turned his back for a minute and she disappeared. She was so tiny and  I knew she needed me, I looked all over and found lots of babies but none of them were mine. I would look in their faces and hold them, but I knew that they weren't my baby. I could hear her crying and I wanted her so bad. It was terrible!

I was so agitated when I woke up that it took me a while to calm down. I walked around a bit and got a drink so that I could wake my little 'tenant' and feel her wiggle around inside me. That always makes me feel better. (I had bad dreams when I was expecting my other babies too.) I find that I almost always have to get on my knees and say a prayer before my mind will let go and allow me to fall asleep again. Ahhh, pregnancy. Bitter and sweet.

I had another dream last night, this one was much less frightening but just as agitating. I was watching out my window and noticed a bus bringing people (big grown ups) home from school. Not just from any school either, fun school! The kind were you learn art and sewing and do design projects and get to create all day long. The bus was full of interesting, educated, and talented people, the kind I would love to spend time with. I was suddenly mad because I realized that I was enrolled and should have been in class that day. And the day before, and the day before that. I had missed 3 whole days! WHY? What had I been doing that was more important, how could I have forgotten that I was supposed to be in school? What had I missed? Oh, I was so frustrated with myself. I had sat around for three days looking out the window while the others learned.

Upon awaking and reviewing, this dream gave me a bit of a Revelation about myself. I have felt removed from the design community as of late. (Even though I had 2 client meetings this week and just got a slug of material for another custom bedding project.) I am so busy being Mommy that I haven't had as much time to indulge in my own loves. Sometimes I feel like the Me that was before I was Mommy is lost and frustrated. I want to create so badly. I crave the high I feel when I make something new.

Sigh. There is a season to all things. I am in the nurturing season. There are little bodies to grow and hair to comb and faces to be kissed. I am creating I suppose. Little girls.

I would really miss my little works of art if I had to attend school or work every day. Really I would! (But once a week would be sweet, eh?) I enjoy being the Mom, but breaks are hard to come by. So are alone dates with my man. Has it really been 2 months since we spent an evening together? Oh, yep. It has.

I took some pics of my recent projects, just to prove that I still get things done that don't include cleaning up after my family, or are under the demands of a client. The first is a preview of the girls bedding, it's a real miss-mash and I love it! The second is a sweet little re-do I did on an antique high chair I bought at a yard sale for 3 bucks. The last is a twirly skirt, complete with red tulle that I made for Roo last week. So far she won't wear it. She acts like it's strangling her and wants it off the minute I put it on. Maybe this one will go with me to Bunco next week.