Being the Mom

This is my Mom and Pop.

Today is Mothers' Day. I feel like crying. My eyes have been brimming for a good portion of the day. Sometimes for joy, several times of desperation.

I will not make this a long post. I am too tired for that. But, I felt like I must share a little of what made my eyes blur with emotion today:

• Talia sings with the primary in Sacrament Meeting. So big, so beautiful. I watched her in wonder - "That is my child!" I thought.


• The heat in our church house. I wore long sleeves, and too tight pantie hose today on account of the driving rain. Mistake! All hose are banned until post-baby.


• Thinking of my own mother, and her many years of love, patience, gentle care and sacrifice on my behalf. Knowing that it still, and will always continue.


• Coming home to a filthy house.


• Reading Tali and Roo's Mothers Day cards and 'Oohing' and 'Awwwing' over their sweet little creations, just for me. I decided to keep a book of them, every years' little offering, to cherish always.


• DJ whipping up some Mac and Cheese for lunch.


• Snuggling in bed between Roo and DJ for a nap.


• Roo busts her lip wide open on the edge of the bed while rescuing "Pen-win," the beloved penguin who fell out of bed during the nap. Holding her tight for 15 minutes, being bled on. Having her cling to me, her whole self wanting nothing but my comfort.


• Tammy's homemade soup and bread sticks, ready and waiting. (THANKS Momma Grange!)


• Holding my tongue while the Grange family had yet another, "If it's a girl . . . ." conversation.


• Strawberry cheese cake, wanting too, but not enjoying it on account of the new one.


• Driving home in the rain, knowing it will not stop for days.


• Reading inspired mothers' words. And Sheri Dew's "Are We Not All Mothers?" (Read it, I guarantee warm fuzziness.)

Today, along with so many others, I must remind myself that Motherhood is not just a 'to-do'. But a high and holy order, a calling, a commission, a sacred trust. One from which we will never be released. It is trying, and difficult. It is glorious and full of the deepest and most lasting kind of happiness.

I remind myself that I walk each day hand in hand with God in creating, shaping, leading and loving prescious souls. (One of which is mine.) I want this Job! I want this role, this special commission.

Even when there is Macaroni on the floor, and purple crayon on the fireplace. Even when my homes inhabitants are all brushed, jammied, rocked, kissed and tucked, (yea, even Dad!) and I alone remain awake to battle heartburn.

Expect some fresh photos tomorrow. DJ dipped into his very own stash of derby winnings to buy me a fancy new camera. The battery is charging as we speak.

Happy Mothers Day to all!