It's Time For a Move

Hello Freinds -

This will be my last post.

Don't be sad.

I shall continue to write my enthralling tales at

http://www.thisismyjoy.wordpress.com/

Please come and visit us there.

Much love,

Sarah Grange

Tough Day

Me and Skye had a hard day. It was the first time in her 11 days of life that I held her and cried tears of frustration and utter exhaustion.

I was still in my pj's at 6:30 pm when my neighbor came by with dinner. My prayers were answered through her today! And my Mom who brought us mini candy bars and hung out with Talia while I napped.

Roo has picked this time, of all times, to potty train herself! Without encouragement, she insists on wearing undies and using the potty. I begged her to wear a diaper until Daddy got home today. She did. But it kept coming off, along with her clothes, so that she could sit on the potty and I had to re-diaper her about 20 times. She had several successful runs, a few not so successful.

I didn't get to a single thing on my list of 'to-do's today. They were all very simple, like 'Get milk and bananas.' Talia did make it to the bus on time, dressed and combed. (I forgot her homework packet and the snack she was supposed to bring for her class Pilgrim feast however!) I was going to do laundry for the girls, (Skye spit up about 12 oz. of milk today. Soaked 3 outfits with milk, 2 with pee.) but only had the energy to clean out the washer. There was dirt and concrete and some serious grime left over from the weekends battle with DJ's work clothes.  I dread winter husband laundry.

Still wouldn't trade this life.

Golly, LIfe is Good

I was dressing miss Skye this morning, wrapping her little hands in those cute fold-over-the-top sleeves, and thinking, "I just love this. My life is so fun!"

Not all mornings have been great. I think I might have frightened a neighbor on Wednesday when I opened the door, looking like the walking dead. Bloodshot eyes, filthy hair, blank stare. Wha . . . ?

Anywho. Good night or bad, I am really loving my life right now. It's not all sweet however. DJ has been working his tail off in Park City all week, 4:30 am to . . . late. Most nights it is at least 8 or 9 before he gets home. That's been tough on all of us. I miss him. I know he misses being with the girls. But, there's no other way, and there's no use whining about it. We soldier on.

My car is back together. The heater is not fixed. I drove around for about an hour yesterday and it never warmed up. AHHHHH! The frustration. DJ looked like he might cry when I told him. I know he worked so hard to fix it on his own. We have no idea what to do. Good thing I don't have many reasons to go out, and a garage.

So, here is why I am still a very happy woman. Ready for more lists? Here were go.

I LOVE THE WAY THAT SKYE:

• pulls her little legs up to her tummy when I try to change her diaper.
• makes happy little grunts and gulps when she eats.
• knows when I am holding her, and turns her head to find me when someone else is.
• cries like a baby tiger when she has a bubble. It sounds like "Rarrrrr! Rarr!" Not a continuous wail, just sharp little hollers.
• has a perfect little tushy that fits in my hand.
• puts her hands above her head when she is totally relaxed.
• has warm milk breath and super soft hair.
• looks like both of her sisters, and just like herself.
• loves me.
• smells like heaven.

I LOVE THAT I CAN:

• wear my silky pj pants all day. Makeup optional.
• let the girls watch lots of T.V. with minimal guilt.
• rock my baby in a comfy chair in a warm house while I watch the snow fall outside.
• eat cereal for breakfast and leftovers for lunch.
• take a warm bath every night and not struggle with a big awkward belly when I get out!
• wear jeans and tie my shoes.
• lift Ruby and hold her tight to me.
• cry when I feel like it. (Mostly for happiness.)
• leave the lights low and turn on lamps at 5:00 pm. (This does wonders for the bedtime routine.)
• turn off my phone and choose who I want to talk to.
• nurse my little girl.
• NAP!
• Be slow and quiet and gentle.

Hope that you are all tucked safely in your homes tonight. Snow! Snow! Snow!

One Week

One week old.

Isn't she lovely?

Oh, baby angel of mine. I love you! .



The Isle of Skye

Lots of people have asked where the name Skye came from. Well, here's what I know. Skye is an Irish name, and there is a great big mountainous island with the name. It has lots of rugged coast line and beautiful cliffs and green grassy hills and history that goes on for ages! I think Skye is a beautiful and unique name, we chose it for no other reason than that. No Irish blood in our family. (That I know of.) But maybe we will go there some day just because that is our baby girls name!

Rena, (pronounced Re-nay) is DJ's great grandma Granges' first name. His grandpa Mar's mother. When we were searching our family history records for an ancestor to borrow a name from, this is the one we both liked. To be honest I know very little about her, we'll have to find out!

When I very first discovered that I was expecting Skye, I felt that she was a very special child, that she would be a strong spirit, and that her life would be important. (As I did with the others, so don't feel left out big sisters!) I so wanted her name to be special! DJ and I really had a time choosing. I didn't want it to be to 'matchy' or sound to similar her sisters. People are bound to mix them up as they grow older anyway with all this blonde hair and blue eyed business, no need to make their names alike as well. I am happy with the way that Talia, Ruby and Skye all have different qualities and each sound unique from one another as well as for each child.

Naming babies for me is serious stuff. After much consideration, I think we nailed it

Six Big Days

In honor of Skye being six whole days old, I have a few lists I'd like to make.

6 THINGS I AM THANKFUL FOR:

1. My bathtub - good for lots of sore body parts, and the nerves.
2. My neighbors and friends who bring us dinner!
3. My Avent pump and Lanolin - if you don't immediately know why, then don't worry about it.
4. Little tiny Pampers
5. My new recliner - worth every dime!
6. My incredible body. 

I have enjoyed Skye so much this week. She has been such a complete joy. I am basking in each moment. I think our time has been especially sweet because I am so relaxed. My mothering skills are more in tune and I don't get uptight like I did with my first two. (Talia particularly!) We just roll with it. Spit ups, no big. Tummy aches, not a problem. Up at 2:00 am, time for each other. I feel like I know how to handle her little body and all it's wonders, and therefore have much more time to love her, to soak in her sweetness, to feel her spirit and smell her little head.

SIX THINGS I HAVE LEARNED THIS WEEK: (or relearned!)

1. Mellow Mommy = mellow child.
2. Mothering is my job right now. Not clean dishes, not perfect house.
3. Time is a precious, precious thing. I won't get THIS time back.
4. Being patient with myself and my children invites the Spirit into our home.
5. Family is everything!
6. You can ask your Heavenly Father to help you with anything, even baby gas bubbles.

Talia and Roo have been super this week. Only a few melt downs. T is a capable babysitter, Ruby has about kissed the hair off of Skye's head. Daddy is steady as always, and looks so handsome holding a baby!

Some Moments To Always Remember

My labor coach suggested that DJ get a picture of Skye's birthday - the actual day! It was so beautiful and clear. When I saw the sun come up from our labor room I was so glad that the day was crisp and bright, it gave me courage. So there you go baby cake - your birthday.

Goofus Roofus. She loved my mug of ice water.

I wanted to put this photo in, not only because in it are my dearest loves, but also because you can see me and Skye's recovery room. MB5. I want to remember it because I had the most intensely spiritual moment in this room, and I want to be able to recall it years form now, forever.

I had Skye all tucked into her car seat and my new purple leather diaper bag on my shoulder, standing at the foot of the bed. DJ had gone ahead to make a trip to the car with some other bags and my balloons. Love those balloons!

I gazed at my baby girl, and then around the room to say good bye to the place that we spent our first few precious, irreplaceable hours together. Where there was nothing that mattered but me and her, where the world could not be, where time stood still for a perfect day. All of a sudden I was so moved with gratitude that I could hardly breathe. I couldn't move. It washed over me in a wave so real I felt like I'd been bathed in cool water.

For a brief moment I felt as if I stood in a Holy place. The meaning of life was crystal clear and the eternities where open for me to view. I bowed my head and tears fell from my eyes as I pondered my great gratitude for life, for my incredible body, for my perfect child, for my own mother, for the Plan.

As much as I wanted to be home, I was reluctant to leave. Those walls have seen  many a miracle I believe, mine and countless others. The hospital can be clinical and harsh, but for me it was a place of joy and wonder. 

I'll take my bed and shower over theirs any day however, and eventually DJ came back to wisk us safetly home. There was much happiness in walking out of the doors too, home to my world.

I am most grateful. Thank you Heavenly Father, for my miracle!

Skye

In all of God's great universe there is nothing more glorious than a new born child.

I love you Skye baby.

She Is Here!

Skye Rena Grange

November 10, 2011 3:29 p.m.

7lbs. 15 oz. 20 in.

We are in Love!

Still Pregnant

Just in case you breezed by to check - I am still pregnant. My due date has come and gone. I am pretty chill though, as you can see me here with no makeup and my velvet PJ suit. Feeling pretty good.

Having a bit of an internal struggle about whether or not to be induced before Saturday - my Dr. is going out of town for his sisters' temple sealing to her adopted children. A noble reason! But it leaves me with a big decision to make.

Check out what action went down in my garage last night! The Pontiac is G.U.T.T.E.D. The dealer wanted $1,450 to fix our heaters actuator door. (A little doo-dad that opens up the air flow from the motor side of the firewall into the cab. The little plastic hinge is busted, so it wouldn't slide open.) I was ill when I heard the news. DJ, of course would not be daunted by what the dealer estimated as a 12-14 hour job. He called a buddy, and several other random acquaintances with automotive knowledge - and commenced to take apart the car. Seats, steering wheel, electronics, everything! Luckily he had a friend with actual dis-assembling knowledge to come by and assist him. They worked for 4 1/2 hours.

I SO hope it drives when everything gets put back together. Right now I am a tad leery of the air bag and transmission parts sitting on top the freezer. Hey, at least I will be able to vacuum those hard to reach areas between the front seats, right? Anyone want to borrow me a vehicle in case I go into labor before this mess gets put back in order?

Here are my little 'cakes' and their neighborhood friends waiting for the bus. This afternoon is bright and cool and gorgeous. I had to bring the camera along and capture all the goodness of the day. Me and Roo took a walk after T got on the bus, we played with sticks and visited the horses and finally put the lawn rakes away. Lets' be real, I am not going to rake up the 50 leaves that are still on the grass. They can hang out there until spring.

Dear Girlies

Hey Girlfriends,

Today we had lots of fun together. We got up early and dressed for town, complete with scarves and hats for all, then had breakfast at McDonalds! (I said we could go where ever you wanted, and even though I pushed for Kneaders and their endless Cinnamon french toast I took you to the golden arches.) We sat in a window booth and watched the snow softly falling outside. You two split a big breakfast with hotcakes. 2 chocolate milks. Talia ate all the bacon. I, of course had a sausage and egg McMuffin with OJ. There were lots of older gentlemen in the restaurant having breakfast and they kept looking over at us and smiling. I am sure we made a pretty picture!

We dropped the car off at the GM dealer to have them fix the heater next. We played pool in the lobby and waited for grandma Norr to come and rescue us. Ruby hitting the pool balls was very funny! Talia, I will teach you how to play for real some day. Then we went to T.J. Maxx to shop for a new diaper bag/purse, photo frames and something fun for each of you. Pretty sweaters!

I know that the next week will bring big changes to your life. I know that I will be busy and tired and emotional. I wanted today to be about us, and just us. I love you. I am glad you are my girls. You are each beautiful and special and truly loved. Be patient with me this week, I will try try try to be so with you. (Success with that all day!)

Can you believe that there will soon be 4 girls in our family? What fun! There will be many more "girl days" to share together. Hugs and kisses,

Mom

P.S. Roo, today you are my little one. I know that I will see you sometime this week and wonder where my baby went. Ooooh! My heart!

Bye Bye Blue

I felt really good today. So guess what? I painted the babies room. The whole thing! Top to bottom, gathered the gear, repaired the holes in the the walls (There were a few big ones, Roo pulled a huge towel hook and her headband hooks out a few months ago, Ergg!), sanded, taped the ceiling, polished the baseboards, everything.

To spare my Mom any anxiety I won't talk about how many times I moved the chair and crib around the room or how many times I climbed the step ladder, and then had to get off.

It looks awesome. I am wiped out!

I've been working for 12 hours. It's 9:40 pm.

Can't wait to get my gorgeous new dresser in there and fill it with sweet little baby things. I almost have the crib quilt bound. Things are coming together.

Any time Little Bit, anytime.

Happy Halloween 2011

 Meet miss "Flango-Mango."

Meet the lovely Cinderella.



Meet Roo pumpkin, Jack - "the spooky one."



Meet neighbors Stella and Sam.

We had a marvelous Halloween. Me and the girls carved fresh Jack-O-Lanterns on the front porch in the sunshine, it was lovely and warm on the west side of the house. Roo and Tali squealed and laughed while we 'gutted' the pumpkins. They used their bare hands and got orange goo all over the cement. Daddy was a little late getting home because he had a tow job to do. So me and the girls hurried into our costumes to haunt the neighborhood in the last light of day on our own. It turned out to be not so on our own, the streets were crawling with friends and neighbors, we loved it!

Rubys little chirp, "Trick or Treat!" was the cutest thing. Her big pink booty was the next. All evening she was clinging to the Flamingos head and chewing on him. Talia wore her aunt Jenna's white prom gloves and a new pair of white sparkling shoes. It took a while for me to convince her that Cinderella didn't wear a crown to the ball. After that she didn't even want her hair done. O'well. It's the right color anyway.

The girls filled their buckets (from McDonalds) with lots of treats, and there was chocolate on all the costumes before we got to Grandmas. We had Taco Soup and chocolate popcorn at Deven and Kaylee's. Mmm. That's my kind of treat! What a swell evening.

I have been trying all day to keep my hands out of the candy bowl in the pantry. There were way too many snickers left in there last night. One week until Little Bit is due. She won't get to eat candy for a long time, I had better have a Snickers for the both of us.

HOPE YOU HAD A HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

It Is Truth Time

Everybody asks how I am doing. "Good." I say. "Really good."

That is true. I am sincere when I say that my pregnancies are routine, coaster, quite dandy. But, will you indulge me for a bit of bare naked - in the moment truth telling?

I am tired. So, so tired.

(This is my husband, in my brand new leather recliner that I saved up for all summer. Sleeping away while I get the girls ready for bed, say prayers, tucked in, kissed, sippy for Roo, two trips to the living room to look for toys and Pinkalicious . . . . . . . I could be mad. but I am too tired. He did haul it in the house for me. Thanks muscle man. I'll let this one slide.)

I am so tired of bending down I could scream. Do you ever think about how many things you get off the ground in a day? It's a LOT! I told the girls I am done with it. If it doesn't get picked up I am sucking it into the vacuum. Even if it's your wretched little sock bundles that seem to multiply like bunnies all over the house. I am tired of bumping my belly with the closet doors, the steering wheel, the garbage drawer, and the fridge, and my children. Tired of Braxton Hicks.

There are so many normal parts of my life that make me crazy right now. Like big, fat October house flies that buzz around and bump into my head. I swear. They get really stupid this time of year. I threw away about 10 pieces of junk mail yesterday. Does Chase really think that one of these days I am going to apply for their card? I mean seriously - it's been 7 1/2 years guys. I don't want it!

My windows are filthy. We are always out of milk. The fridge stinks, the carpet stinks, (getting cleaned on Monday!) the garage really stinks. DJ tracked chunks (yes, literally, CHUNKS!) of dirt in on his boots yesterday. My beautiful pumpkins are frozen and wilting on the front porch. The heater in our car died. Dead and gone. The batteries in our smoke detectors are dead too, they keep making this sickening chirping noise. I have made more than one trip to the basement in the middle of the night to push the "I know it needs new batteries, just shut up already," button. This involved hauling a stool with me, it's 2:00 am and I am awake for about 2 hours now. Joy. I spent $10 on batteries a few days ago, wrong size.

Speaking of chirping, I can hear everything for a mile. The girls seem to be about 10 times louder than they have ever been. DJ listens to the televisions at an unbearable level. I am trying not to remember how miserable I was in the cultural hall this morning for the Pinewood Derby. Cub Scout cheers for an hour and a half. I just about broke and ran for my life. Do people really have to gun it across the highway at 11:30 pm? My head is about to explode!

I won't scare you with tales of how my hips hurt right now. How they hurt pretty much all the time now. 2 weeks ago, fine. Now, I can't even put my pants on while standing. I shouldn't have mowed the lawn today. Pubic bone pain from Hades! Back, knees, shoulders, eyes, hair, calves. You name it. There's pain.

I could go on and on. I am irritated by even my underwear right now. I'll stop though. It won't help. It won't change my week 39 attitude either. Venting feels good, but it can lead the mind in the wrong direction.

Positive Sarah, be positive. No woman in the history of the world has been pregnant for ever. You LOVE babies, you adore your spouse and children. This will too shall pass.

I apologize for everything I just wrote. I am getting in the tub.

Dear Little Bit

While I am waiting to see your sweet face before I know for sure, I am still in want of inspiration as to what name to give you. This is important stuff. Forever kind of stuff. I have a small list of maybes, but nothing feels just right. I guess I am anticipating a sign of some kind. . . . a clue that "this name" is who you are, and who you will become. I so want to get it right.

Daddy is being terribly unhelpful. Just so you know. I will keep secret some of the truly maddening suggestions he has put forth. His idea of a special name is one that can be linked to a vehicle, (Mercedes is the only one I would ever consider, and he won't go for that one.) or starts with a D. Ruby has submitted Purple and Pink. GRAVY!

I love you baby girl. Your estimated date of arrival is only 2 weeks away. Please do me a favor and try not to be late. Bring along a name tag with you from heaven if you can.

I can't wait to have you in my arms. (My belly is ready to be rid of you. Ha!)

Much love and devotion.

Mommy

Go Granges Go

As I sit here, Saturday evening, and think back on the week I am amazed. I don't recall sitting for more than a few minutes at a time, and that was with my sewing machine. (Oh, correction - I did read to the girls a bunch. That was nice! We hit the library for an arm full of books and several fun Halloween stories on Monday, since then we have covered each at least 3 times.) We were busy as bees and that helped our week move quickly along.

There was lots of play time out side in the sunshine with neighbors Stella and Sam. T and Roo climbed the apple trees about 100 times and did their best to talk Brother Johnson to death while he picked apples. The girls covered the porch with sidewalk chalk art and made a fort out of an enormous refrigerator box, trashed the toy room, did 1000 reps on the swings, ate a bag of candy corn . . . golly, you name it.

I made some truly lovely pumpkin soup and took it with us to Mom and Pop Norr's for FHE, had a swell lunch date with my neighbors, sewed at least 10 things, sanded for hours on this beauty of a dresser, finished the bunks, cleaned under the sofa's - of all things to tackle while pregnant?, successfully wrapped up 2 clients projects and started a third, (I must be mental!) went to a truly inspirational Relief Society night, and pretty much kept my cool through another week of scattered toys, milk spills, bumps and scrapes, fingernail polishings, kindergarten homework, and bedtimes. Whew!

DJ made it home safely on Thursday night, late, after we were all in bed, and then headed for Ogden Friday morning at 6:00 am. I was so glad to have him only that far away. Can you believe we made it to the 6:00 temple session Friday evening? A miracle. It was WONDERFUL. I had to rent a dress big enough to fit my belly. We ate at Juniper Take Out afterwards and I had a halibut fillet that was so divine. Dave and Tammy took the girls to the Pumpkin Walk in North Logan and they had a swell evening too. There was ice cream for all!

Thanks a million Grandma and Grandpa Grange, I couldn't have done it without you this week!

Today we took apart, vacuumed thoroughly, and put back together Talias' room. Now to be known as Talia and Rubys' room. It looks like a million bucks. I could bust! Wait until you see the beds, and the delectable pillow cases I made. Just waiting for a few more elements to fall into place and then I'll post a picture of the before and afters. Roo napped in her big girl bed this afternoon. No fuss what-so-ever. I have mixed emotions about her not requesting "Momma's bed."

Sorry for the play by play. I just had to record the amazing amount of things that were accomplished this week. I feel like Super Momma! I am looking forward to Sunday.

What I Needed To Hear

     "Sometimes, in the routine of our lives, we unintentionally overlook a vital aspect of the gospel of Jesus Christ, much as one might overlook a beautiful, delicate forget-me-not. In our diligent efforts to fulfill all of the duties and obligations we take on as members of the Church, we sometimes see the gospel as a long list of tasks that we must add to our already impossibly long to-do list, as a block of time that we must somehow fit into our busy schedules. We focus on what the Lord wants us to do and how we might do it, but we sometimes forget why.

     My dear sisters, the gospel of Jesus Christ is not an obligation; it is a pathway, marked by our loving Father in Heaven, leading to happiness and peace in this life and glory and inexpressible fulfillment in the life to come. The gospel is a light that penetrates mortality and illuminates the way before us.

     While understanding the “what” and the “how” of the gospel is necessary, the eternal fire and majesty of the gospel springs from the “why.” When we understand why our Heavenly Father has given us this pattern for living, when we remember why we committed to making it a foundational part of our lives, the gospel ceases to become a burden and, instead, becomes a joy and a delight. It becomes precious and sweet.

     Let us not walk the path of discipleship with our eyes on the ground, thinking only of the tasks and obligations before us. Let us not walk unaware of the beauty of the glorious earthly and spiritual landscapes that surround us.

     My dear sisters, seek out the majesty, the beauty, and the exhilarating joy of the “why” of the gospel of Jesus Christ.

     The “what” and “how” of obedience mark the way and keep us on the right path. The “why” of obedience sanctifies our actions, transforming the mundane into the majestic. It magnifies our small acts of obedience into holy acts of consecration."

Dieter F. Uchdorf, Relief Society General Meeting Oct. 2011

Chin Up

(The girls explore with DJ on a little hike through the City of Rocks, Oct - 2011)

The girls so loved spending time with Daddy this weekend. They got in some much needed rough housing, garage cleaning and the annual fall spectacle at the Pumpkin Launch. (Grandpa's punkins flew right into the car Mom!)

I was relieved to just be held by a man whose nerves are like steel. Who doesn't get flustered, who doesn't get mad. Who is big and strong and warm and capable. Who can fill his days with a hundred different things and not be overwhelmed. Who can take the Deacons to Crystal Hot Springs on a Friday night and be home the next day with a smile at 9:00 am.  A man who loves his family. Oh, Gosh! I need you babe.

While the girls spent Saturday afternoon with DJ I finally got down and dirty with the sandpaper and gel stain, and now the bunk beds look so amazing. I decided at the last minute not to paint them white. They took a lot more labor (my back was in protest all day) to sand and refinish, but the end result in quite stunning. I feel rewarded for my bargain hunting. I'll post a picture when I get the last of the polyurethane coats on. Hopefully Tuesday.

I am sitting up this evening having a one sided wrestling match with Lil Bit, (She is getting strong! And good gravy, pushing on something that ought not to be messed with. Oww kid!) listening to the rain. It's beautiful and cool. DJ went to bed at 9:00 pm with the girls. He has to be on the road at 2:00 am so that he can be in St. George and ready for a pour by 10:00. Ambition? Oh, yes!

One more week of 'just us girls', and then Daddy should be able to work a little closer to home. I say should with caution. I never know. I may just call a family meeting and put my foot down, DJ stays within 2 hours of home until at least mid November. I am not going to bring this child into the world alone. Or playing the single Mom game when she is 3 days old. There are plenty of brothers and a whole handful of employees that can take on a little extra weight, at least for a few weeks. There are a certain times in life when a man should say, "No, I need to be with my family." The job be danged.

Talia was adorable in the primary program today. My word, she is a beautiful child! All that said, I am going to have to muster everything I have to be patient with her this week. She pushes the limits. One minute I am so pleased with her I could bust, the next I want to spank her behind. She is smart as a whip, emotional like a bear and so creative that I often wonder how she fits it all in her head. I am setting a goal to not blow a gasket this week. (You think I'll last until Tuesday?) I really need peace in this house, and I know that I have to be the one to establish it.

Week 37 is nearing completion.

Chin up.

This Is a Shout Out

To all my girlfriends at Bunco, I love you. Thanks for doing this each month. I look forward to being with you and sharing our lives. Thanks for the insights and justifications. Thanks for the mutual respect we share as mothers, doing our best with our own circumstances. Thank you for making me laugh.

Oooh, and thanks for the awesome fondue cheese and caramel apple cider with whipped cream too!

*This year I am dressed in gold and green and a drop cloth toga (really, if you look close there are paint stains on it!) as Aphrodite the Greek goddess of love.

'Punkins' Make Me Happy

Tali and Roo pick pumpkins in the Rhodes family pumpkin patch at our annual gathering. My aunt and uncle let the whole family select a pumpkin of their own and then we roast hot dogs around the campfire and enjoy a bunch of (mostly pumpkin assorted/flavored) treats. My children picked tiny ones for some reason. Uncle Brad and Aunt Tammy know how to grow them HUGE. A very happy FHE this week.

Our very own pumpkin patch yeilded much beauty this year. Me and the girls loaded them into our black hand cart and hauled the harvest to the front porch. It felt good to hack at the vines and reclaim the southernmost piece of our lawn, I have been letting the punkins just take over where they would.

I have had a few emotional break downs this week, yesterday was the most colorful. I freaked out at the girls for destroying the nicely sorted laundry piles in my room. (I was busy with my toilette brush and disinfecting Clorox wipes in the laundry bathroom.) They also brought in a whole pile of toys, a crumby bag of potato chips, built a fort under my chair, messed up my curtains and undecorated the living room so that they could have a festive Halloween picnic in the laundry baskets, in my room. I lost it! I ordered them out and then buried my face in my hands and balled. Seriously, I wept it all out.

A few minutes after my eruption Roo came tiptoeing into my room holding her blankie out to me. She had a repentant face and a look that said, "This will help Mom." And, "Please still love me!" I clung to her and the blankie for a minute and cried a little more. Talia came and put her head in my lap. We had a little talk, apologized all around, re-sorted the laundry, made the bed (again!) and I insisted that every last chip crumb be picked up.

Oh, my word. What a morning. I haven't felt emotional with this pregnancy at all until now. I feel like I have only so much 'cool' in me for a day, and when it is gone, it's GONE! After I got the house in relative order, and all machines a-buzzing, we went out into the fresh October air and got to work with the pumpkins. Just what I needed. As I was taking these last two pictures I kept thinking, "Pumpkins make me happy. Thank goodness for pumpkins."

For My Little Bit

I fell in love with this sweet yellow vintage print. I waited a while to find the right compliment for the reverse side. This will be Little Bit's car seat canopy. I have found much joy in making things for her, as with the others, she feels real to me when I imagine holding her in the blankets and being protected by the things I have made.

DJ has been in St. George this week. I have had a hard time with this one. Each day I feel as if I have only myself to lean on and that I am not enough. My strength is tapped.

There are days I am so tired, and feel so used by my children. I swear I cannot take another day, not another hour, I cannot pick up another sock, I cannot sweep up another crushed fishy cracker or grape! KIDS FOR SALE - CHEAP!

But then . . . (often after a time out in my bathroom) selfishness subsides, I humble myself and (usually have to apologize to them for being cranky) take a good look into their eyes. Therein is my life, my work, my glory! My babbies. My world. I want nothing more than their peace and their joy.

And so I start again.

Thank you neighbors, family, and my Heavenly Father. I know I labor not alone.

I just had a good talk with DJ. (Those are difficult and rare on the phone!) I forget occasionally that this is hard for him too. He doesn't want to be away. He has to wake early every morning, work non stop all day in all kinds of weather, solve problems, drive forever, eat lousy food and retire to a strange bed in a lonely motel. So my man, I love you. I appreciate you. Thank you! Come home soon.

Good Bread

Would just like to mention that I solved my banana bread dilemma. (Now the problem is I want to make it all the time and eat it just as often!) This batch was so good that I took a loaf to the sisters that I visit teach. Trying to get a good month of service in before I am useless for anything other than nursing my newborn. I hope to be happily couped up for most of November.

Speaking of, here we are,  35 weeks. Holy crow. More stripes.

Serious Havoc

Roo could barely sleep for a week knowing that a derby was coming. Halloween Havoc. I had to promise her over and over again that Daddy would take us to Ogden to see the last 'crash and smash' of the season. And did it ever deliver! Yikes. I had to cover my eyes a few times. Here is uncle Deven, riding his fallen beast from the battle field. The poor thing lasted about 30 seconds before it was plowed into and rolled. Deven's fine! Thank you seat belt. I thought we might have to restart Kaylee's heart though.

I sat by DJ the whole evening. Weird. We have been together for 8 derby seasons and this is the first time that I have been near him for an entire show. So glad that he didn't have a 'runner' for this wild night. Not that I fear for his life in this arena, but because he had such a long week with work. Park City is draining him. Early up, late home. A cold and muddy mess. I hardly saw him all week. He did head home early on Friday (because it was snowing) and he detoured to West Jordan to pick up my new dresser. It is so gorgeous. I couldn't stop kissing on him. What a guy, what a pal! (It needs a little tlc before it gets a place in 'lil bits' room, but I promise it will stop the show. Along with the orange wall and the delicious blankets I've been working on. All of my free time this week has been with my sewing machine. Will give you a sneak peek tomorrow.)

I spent some time this evening writing to our friend Elder Twitchell, while DJ packed his duffel bag for another week of work far away, ( I am missing him already. Tears tonight, for both of us.) and DJ insisted that I invent a derby number so that I could sign off the letter appropriately. Apparently to be a Grange with clout you need a number attached to your name. I am now, Sarah Grange #321. (For my birthday, March 21st.)

Peace out.

Sarah Grange #321

Lots of Rocks and Conference in General

Last weekend we hooked up the Moose and hit the road with the Grange family and a few friends (the gravel road) for the City of Rocks. We hiked and climbed and biked and soaked in the hot springs. I participated in all of the above, even biking! I have a feeling I looked a lot more at ease on my mountain bike than squeezed into my swim suit. Yikes.

We watched lots of folks in their helmets and skinny shoes, with water bottles strapped to their hips, climbing and repelling from the rocks. Talia thinks that she is a real live rock climber now too. And a mermaid! That kid LOVES the water. I think it's about time for swimming lessons. She assures me that she can already 'go under' for a minute!

Sorry to say that the radio reception wasn't great at the campground. Lots of static to sort through. We only got about half of general conference. I was hoping for more, I need the boost. The Granges always camp for fall conference, and therefor rarely listen to all the messages. I feel a bit of a loss spiritually. I am glad that I can hear the addresses again over the Internet. Aren't they better spoken? I like to re-read each one once the Ensign editions are printed but there is something about hearing the voices of the twelve say the words that make them more powerful.

I kept my hands busy, and out of the Starburst and cookies bags, all weekend by binding a really fabulous blanket for 'lil bit.' Pictures coming soon.

A Day In The Life

All three girls got fresh toes and fingers this afternoon. I had to put my feet up on the picnic table to reach my piggies. We played outside all day, the weather was spectacular. I wish I could bottle the temperature like I bottle jam and preserve it for the gloomy winter days ahead. I dug up all but one of my zucchini plants and cleared some other ruffige out of the garden. You should have seen the tomato harvest I got. 21 big'ns. Off of one plant. It is more like a tomato bush. There are 14 more waiting to turn red. No frost yet.

Me and Roo watched Fantasia (I can't talk her into anything else lately.) and had apples and caramel dip for a snack after Talia left for school. Ruby, of course, had a sippy milk to wash it down. (Also can't talk her into anything else when it comes to beverages, unless it's cold water from my pink Camelback bottle that I keep in the fridge. I am thirsty like the desert this week. Must be all that extra blood I am stocking up.) I made banana bread, and it smelled wonderful while baking but totally bombed out on the taste test. Must have read the recipe wrong or something cause it was awful. That, and I burned it a little. Is it possible to bake a loaf of banana bread all the way through? I mean seriously, the edges burn, the center falls flat! What am I doing wrong?

We girls all went to pack meeting tonight. (Daddy was home late from Park City, he has to leave tomorrow morning at five, so he is already in bed.) I left completely wiped out. I directed about 40 kids in a 3 legged race, and then had to referee the egg and spoon relay. I didn't do any running, but the wind required to holler at that many frenzied scouts and their younger siblings was enough to make me feel like I'd done 5 miles. After, I took the girls to the Arby's drive through for roast beef sandwiches, I don't know what it is about Wednesdays and scouts that makes me feel as if I cannot possibly cook a meal. We read stories for half and hour in my bed tonight.

Ahhhhh, good day.